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Doves and Ashes

by A Raven Renaissance

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1.
2.
Coward 03:42
Dreamers alike in view But you charge ahead While I stand still Whiskey, a taste I know well It keeps me resigned And deaf to church bells Striving to never rock the boat I realize I helped build this moat Should I keep you outside my walls? If nothing’s what I want I’ll ignore your calls I tend to do this myself I’m afraid of the hard things I’ll put it all on the shelf I’m afraid of the hard things And I’ve crafted this shell I’m afraid of the hard things But there’s no peace when I sleep I’m afraid of the hard things Afraid of the hard things My dear, you’re the hard things It must be a heart thing Well I know what I have felt I’ve traced the lines And I’ve trusted my smell My passions often overlooked But I’ll try my best To stay true to my book I tend to do this myself I’m afraid of the hard things I’ll put it all on the shelf I’m afraid of the hard things And I’ve crafted this shell I’m afraid of the hard things But there’s no peace when I sleep I’m afraid of the hard things Afraid of the hard things My dear, you’re the hard things It must be a heart thing
3.
Evening Song 03:16
I’m nervous to sing in the daylight Because all the neighbors might hear About how I fail as a lover Or that it’s been a tricky year So I’ll quiet down And make sure it disappears So dear with your listening ears And silk shaming eyes Would you lay a veil on me? ‘Cause the cold’s made me sick And the crow’s got a point; That maybe I’ve grown too weak Would you play me a tune That would mesh with my marching band soul? ‘Cause I’ve tried to step in time But I realize I need To be in control Maybe all I’ve ever needed, baby Is someone to harbor my mind Make space for the kind Of thoughts I’ve been running from And I only hope that you’ll stay I only hope that you’ll stay
4.
Trust me, I know I don’t open up much You haven’t been wrong I don’t do well with touch A darkened dove looking for peace But I can’t beat my wings Without a cloud of ash trailing behind In my eyes and my teeth But it’s always in my reach Making me mute and blind The ruin I’ve flown away from Comes along anyway The lullaby I’ve always hummed Made me sleep my life away So I will grow Twenty-five years of held back tears Have started to show I’ll need some help To bring out the simplest parts of myself So take me as our darkened dove Bring me the peace that I’ve always loved In a way that it won’t just crumble to dust I’ve always been known to rust I’ve always been known to rust.
5.
Seabed 04:09
I know that I’m scared My dog seems a little scared, too That walking is getting harder And I’ve started to lose my view So I’m flooding my body To escape everything Since I grew into a monster I don’t want to feel anything And I’m asking for God to come close and forgive But I’m swimming in this ship And the seabed seems like A nice place to live And drowning hasn’t ever been An option to forgive But I’m choking on Monday’s And struggling to fit And I’m still having trouble saying Just how frightening it is That if I fell off the Aurora Bridge I’d only hurt you one more time Instead of thousands more And I want you, (more than anything), To feel alive But the ways that I love don’t let the other one give And I’m getting tired of it And the seabed seems like A nice place to live And drowning doesn’t seem so bad But I still wanna be a dad. So I’m hoping my peace comes Would you pray that I don’t slip? Would you pray that I don’t slip?
6.
Confidants 04:18
What if I grew up like you? Would I still be afraid of the truth? Because even when you’re a hurricane You remind me I didn’t even notice the rain And oh boy, it came I really hope that it’s alright I’m talking your ear off, I have been all night I’m kinda clumsy when talking about myself But I’m starting to think You actually want me well Thanks for calling me that night I had been building up an appetite The world can rest in your peace alone But I know you’ll give before you’re fully grown So let’s take it slow You’re afraid to ask for too much time But I won’t sleep unless you’re alright The way we view the world coincides And for no reason at all I guess you think I’m alright You held me when I was two-foot-four You still clinged on when I walked out the door You’ve seen your share of the harder things And remind me you don’t want to feel that with me You even said “please” Well I don’t know how to love “me” just quite yet Unless it’s through someone and that builds regret In the times where the things you say Are the things I forget You’ll sit with me Until I’m safe enough to go to bed
7.
Masonry 03:48
When it comes to Valentine’s Day I say “I’m dating myself” With stock sayings of pseudo growth And that I’m in control of my health But I’m the kind of guy that longs, The romantic who’s on The opiates of loneliness And I’ve been getting my fix For maybe a bit too long I can’t find another song to fit This casket of loneliness I’ll build anyone a castle With mortar and brick And with praise and with sacrifice To see if something will stick But when a raconteur uses his hands The story seems better Than the blister’s that work comes with Or the pains from her letter And I’ve grown weary of masonry When I build these things I give away the key Finger’s of caution, my knuckles are white And the palms I’ve placed on my chest Are now turning towards the fire For some warmth, and some rest I’m not good, but I’m trying my best
8.
Harvest 03:58
For I, too, struck the rock twice And I’ve denied you beyond thrice And I’ve been quartered by my vice But I can’t work alone anymore I’ve pronounced all my thorns through time My love, you are the vine And I am the branch Who thought he knew everything So when my fruit grew in awkward And shaped like deceit You simply said “come to me” Weary and drunken I showed Ashamed and tired of tending alone As whiskers grow, and I walk alone I take steps back when it’s colder below And the sun has started to warm these winter bones I’m working hard to unlearn myself I’m giving up ash for the true dove to dwell My love, you rescue me When I’m crushed beneath The weight of my own harvest And when my grains taste like poison And I’m in need of rest You simply say “come to me” This fool put down his tools And ran to the Father he’ll never lose I didn’t think I needed You to grow And I fell slow I didn’t think I needed You to grow And I fell slow
9.
Becoming 04:02
Through the voices of light This body has survived the night And though I’m still in the fight I’m in a space of becoming When I thought I had nothing left That my core was far from blessed The whispers of love Said I’m not done I’m in a space of becoming I’m in a space of becoming I’m in a space of becoming Breathe deep Breathe deep Breathe deep The smoke still has life to bring Hold fast Hold fast Hold fast I’m stronger than I was in the past Hear me Hear me I finally believe the words I sing; What I bring to this life’s not nothing.

about

Doves and Ashes is a narrative glimpse into leaving behind my unhealthy means of maintaining “peace” through self-erasure in relationships, and growing out of it into something greater. Quite simply, it is my navigation through the awkward and lovely landscape of shortcomings, areas of growth, faith, and self-love.


(This record is intended to be listened to in order, and I humbly request that you do so if you are able.)

credits

released February 12, 2021

All songs mixed and mastered by the lovely Braden Gillispie.

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about

A Raven Renaissance Seattle, Washington

Liam Wright and friends making quiet songs about loud thoughts. Seattle based singer-songwriter.

“Doves and Ashes” available now 🕊️

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